How to mess up your back and create pain whilst thoroughly enjoying yourself painting!


1 – Decide whilst an arctic storm is blowing that it’s a really good idea to go into your unheated studio and work on some large oil paintings that you thought were finished and had framed but have now decided to change.

2 – Repeat this behaviour  pretty much daily for three weeks whilst three storms bring wind, rain, snow, sleet, hail, flooding and fallen trees.

3 – Because you have become sensitive to oil paint having painted obsessively since a student, decide to paint as close to the open door as you possibly can, allowing the arctic wind to whistle in thus ensuring good ventilation which you wouldn’t have in better weather. Realise you may have an oil paint addiction and be partially insane!

4 – Because you have put so many layers of clothes on to keep warm the layers keep riding up at the back and the overlarge overtrousers keep falling down. Not so much builders bum as artists bum! Get chilled to the point of being bone cold but keep going because you decide to shove a hot water bottle down your front.

5 – Whilst painting exercise the dog at same time! Repeatedly throw the dogs ball out of the open door at an unnatural throwing angle whist the majority of your attention is still on your painting. This is pretty much guaranteed to create a weird ouchy kind of twist that will eventually cause your back to go into spasm in the middle of the night. You don’t notice what a stupid movement you are doing as you are too engaged in painting and Maisie, who is hyperacive is being entertained which is a big plus.

6 – Between painting battle mud! Dig, barrow, sweep, move as much mud as possible. As the storms have created terrible conditions mud larking is a necessity. If you get your timing just right the weather will get much much worse whilst doing outdoor work. Find yourself singing mud glorious mud as the sleet hits you horizontally in the face and wonder if you remembered to put moisturiser on this morning.

7 – Don’t do any stretches or other warm ups before you do any of the above activities. Warm ups are for exercise freaks! You are only getting on with life, it’s not like you’re going to the gym or anything! 

8 – Whilst painting remember to have lots of ‘this painting is crap’ and ‘not good enough’ thoughts. This is pretty much guarenteed to cause your neck to tighten and create a domino effect of muscular tightness throughout the body which will aid in helping your back to seize up!

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Mad artist! Me? A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do! I enjoy it!

Three Angels by Kirsten Harris, Oil on Canvas, 80 x 100 cms. One of the paintings I have reworked. Not sure if it is finished yet…

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