Sometimes I have a dreadful sense of humour but I guess it’s good I can still make myself smile. So here is – How to fail as an artist! 12 fool proof steps to failure!
- Don’t finish anything. It’s safest to not start at all.
- If you make the mistake of starting don’t show anything to anyone.
- Think everything you do is terrible.
- Develop worry while you paint, especially whether people will like your art or not. This will help you mess things up.
- Think everything you do should be a masterpiece and then despair that it isn’t and give up.
- Copy other artists artwork or style. Definitely DO NOT develop your own style on any account or there is a distinct danger of failing at failing.
- Compare yourself to other artists, preferably negatively then beat yourself up for being a useless artist. Even better if you broaden that to being a useless human being. Who needs artists anyway!?
- Refuse to sell anything and/or don’t put prices on your art. This is a moot point as you won’t have shown your art to anyone so it shouldn’t ever become a problem.
- Don’t take any risks with your art and definitely do not experiment with art materials! You don’t want to accidentally succeed!
- Be scared to waste materials. In fact fear is an excellent emotion to develop to guarantee failure. White paper is very scary after all and art materials are scarily expensive! Best to just leave them be, they’re doing no harm sitting in the cupboard.
- Procrastinate. That kitchen junk drawer really does need tidying up!
- Most importantly, absolutely refuse to believe in yourself so that you don’t happen upon your own confident style. Follow the first eleven steps and this one should be easy!
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Stay well, stay safe and stay creative.